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| PREVIOUS ARTICLES: ISSUE 3 ANDY TOWNSEND & ALLY MCOIST You can just picture the brainstorming session at ITV Towers. “Lets put Andy n’Ally on the pitch – that way the atmosphere of the ground will be magically transferred to the viewers living room” says the boss and all the ITV Sport underlings nod in agreement fearful of their mortgage and the holidays in France. Well during the Milan Barcelona game, we couldn’t transcribe the half-time blurb because the Italian tannoy was drowning out these two clowns. No bad thing really, but here’s a bit of the full time rubbish. MILAN vs BARCELONA - ITV 18/04/06 ON MILAN’S CHANCES IN BARCELONA Andy: Well it’s gonna be very tough Gabby cos I can't see ‘ow Milan are gonna dominate possession. Barcelona at times once they get in front Ally, looked irresistible we err y errr knocking it around we said before the game err sorry at half time about Ronaldhino but disappointing did we really need to look anyone any further for someone to produce a bit of magic? Ally: Andy ‘e’s passely ghouls out o’ this wurald you’d have t’ say the run from Guillys greet the finish ees is absolutely triffic a fairaish Kaladzy could prolly be a lil bit tie-eater ber less tek nuthin’ away from the ghoul and then ‘onestly Ronalddheenio ear looks up watches the run una finish ees absolutely triffeek it rilly ees annit wos gonna tek a lil bitta maajic te te git the gemm goin’ ‘n ‘n’ surtly ah felt the secon’ half Ronaldheenio and surtly Barcelona cem intyit a lol morah n’ pass the ball a lol morah. Andy: Urgh ee also showed us a little bit of wot ‘e’s all about codus he does play with a smile on ‘is face Peer Drury in the commentary said that that he jus loves to play, just enjoys himself and is brilliant to watch and it’s such a tense game such a big game he can still go out there and jus and jus look t’ t’ show everybody what he can do. Ally: Half yarard Andy luk that ees brilliant. Y’know people back watchin’ it ee jus ee jus needs a haf yarard gessis haf yarard theer and hits it in the sem steride n’ that’s oral y’nid n’e’s soo unlucky e’s a joy t’ watch n’e moos be a joy t’ referee becos ‘e plays weir smiyal onis fes. Andy: I tell you what e’s not a joy to play against let me tell ya you’d be goin’ mad. Oowachis this is brilliant. Weh, ha ha ha. Ally: Orrrr ‘onest ‘e shud be in Billy Smart or something eestuff e’s abshlutely funtastic ‘e’s ‘e’s as Peter rightly said you err clus the gemm as smiyal on ‘is fes ‘n wi’ players like that ‘e’s lookin’ at ‘im tonight second half you’d ‘ave t’ say he’s quite possibly the bes plare in the wurald. Eds Note: Ridiculous. Quite ridiculous. Are they going to be allowed on the pitch at the World Cup? |
