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We were going to give Soxy a rest this week but he had a hissy fit and quit so we had to give him his last hurrah. Can anyone see him as a pundit on ITV or Sky? Ally and Andy would beat him up in the school bogs and Sky’s a commercial station fercrisakes. So is it the end i.e. Bravo with Big Fat Ron? Something perverse within us says we hope not but for now it’s a hap-hap-happy day. Here’s why... 


ON WAYNE ROONEY – INSTINCTIVELY MOTD2 12/03/06
I mean instinctively he’s just such an instinctive player. Everything he does you know he just does it. He reacts to the situation so instinctively and this, he gets the ball under his feet a little but but it’s an instinct.

MORE ON WAYNE ROONEY FOOTBALL FOCUS 25/03/06
Well yeah, I mean up when when we all grew up loving football you do erm you know impersonate the big players of your generation that you watch and it’s only natural that he always wanted to be a footballer so he was always gonna carry on sort of an’ an’ watch something like the World Cup see Michael Owen and be like him and look what he’s achieved. It’s incredible.

ON GERMANY’S WORLD CUP CHANCES
Ber, I mean the thing is you got this you know the the fact is that if they get through these games which they should the fact the filled facts from that will generate sort of intensity in Germany and they’ll feel that can you know go away and they’re great at tournament football they’ve always done well. They got battered by England five one and still did well in in that sort of championship y’know they’ll they’ll do well as a team.

ON BIRMINGHAM’S CHANCES OF AVOIDING RELEGATION MOTD2 26/03/06
Well (blows) the thing is you they’ve gotta rely on on the fact they’ve got you know umm one hundred percent effort in the team. If they play like they did in the second half they play with a bit more freedom, bit more confidence they’ve just gotta hope that they can galvanise to the end of the season and and get going.

ON CHARLTON vs NEWCASTLE – 1st GOAL ‘ANALYSIS’
Yeah they da uhuh defensively they cost them massively today I mean you can see that you’ve got Rammidge who’s errr obviously a right back playing because of injuries. Solano gets the ball plays it to his good foot and that’s an appalling clearance. Not only that then there’s a a a foul Moore on the errr on the on the edge of the box and itsa itsa wreckless tackle. He can only give a penalty you know the referee.

Ed’s note: Ah, yes. The referee. For a minute we thought a steward was about to give it.

ON DARREN BENT
Well oop especially if you’re playing one with one player up front they’ve gotta be so um give so much to the team and it’s a thankless job. You’ve gotta keep going keep going until you get you know err one chance and and Lee says twenty goals in the season s-ko-ch incredible return.

ON DE ROSSI’S HANDBALL CONFESSIONAL ROMA vs MESSINA
...and the goal was the goal was actually disallowed much to the enjoyment of the errrr Messina ummmm errrrrr players um (Ray Stubbs intervenes whilst Soxy’s caught in the camera’s glare once again)

AND THE FINAL DELICIOUS EXCHANGE
Le Sox: I wouldn’t mind a week in Siberia. It’s quite nice at this time of the year apparently.

Stubbsy: You ever been?

Le Sox: No no no that’s why I’d like to go (inexplicably bursts into uncontrolled laughter)

Stubbsy: Thanks to the pundits Le SAUX, SHARPE. That’s their names, not a description of their contributions tonight!

Ed: And so it is we say farewell to Graeme Le Saux. We’ll never forget your catchprases “ummm”, “obviously”, “I mean”, “errr”, and of course your trademark  “sort of”. And wherever you may be Graeme, always remember we’ll be trying to keep the memory of your monotone drone alive by repeating, by repeating, by repeating parts of those incomplete sentences  we’ve grown to love.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.