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| Pictures of the 'other' parts of your footy ground...
WORLD CUP 2006 – THE ENGLAND EXPERIENCE Sidenetting Global Corporate Entertainments Inc. is proud to present: Watch England’s campaign unfold against Paraguay, Trinidad & Tobago and Sweden in the comfort of your own luxury ‘Snug’ with food, drink, and expert ‘interruptive’ commentary from the Pub’s top football pundits. Dave Rudge
Dave is a Chelsea fan. He hates Man U. and is on record as saying he’ll thump the first cockney red ‘to show his face through that door’ Dave is unemployed but hopes to break into television, film, or politics. Clive Twat
Clive doesn’t like football all that much. But this is his regular and he doesn’t see why he should go somewhere else just because the bloody football is on. Clive is retired now having enjoyed 55 years working in a labouring capacity for various gangs. ‘Misery Guts’ Bobby Smith and Debby
Bobby knows a bit about football but apparently it’s changed now, what with TV and all. Bobby made his name in the world of football punditry during the last World Cup when he referred to the England squad as ‘a bunch of girls’. Bobby’s girlfriend Debby doesn’t say much. Bobby works down the market. His hobbies include Car Boot Sales and arguing. We’ll get their first and reserve your ‘snug’ for the miserly price of £5000.00 plus VAT. Each luxury ‘snug’ holds 6 people, 7 at a push and 8 if you all budge up a bit. Most of you will be able to see one of the three wonderful state of the art widescreen 22 inch Tellys placed at vantage points all round the pub (Sidenetting Global Corporate Entertainments Inc wishes to advise that the one in the corner above the bogs is on the blink). Your ‘Whip’ will be held by ex-TV’s very own Graeme Le Saux.* There will be a pre-match ‘talk’ by Reg Dorkes on why Sven is a c**t, ‘That David Beckam’s a poof’ by Craig Ovens, and motivational speech expert Jimmy ‘the Head’ McSporren on ‘F**k England, I hope y’lose, y’bastards’. Sidenetting Global Corporate Entertainments Incs expert half time analyses will be provided by ‘The Lads’
The Lads promise to be ‘well oiled’ after 45 minutes and despite having little interest in football outside of the England games they’ll tell you why they reckon England can go all the way this time. During the game The Lads also promise to shout “ROOOONEY ROOOONEY” every time Wayne Rooney, Michael Owen or Peter Crouch gets the ball. At Full Time, you too can take part in the free-for-all shout about this that and the other, depending on the outcome. And in the spirit of this special occasion please feel free to take a ‘pot-shot’ at any of our pundits who will be delighted to return the favour. NEWS FLASH – We are especially proud to present a dog that will bark loudly every time the noise gets a bit much until his owner smacks it.
Entrée: Bite size crispettes of farm cured sow hide, seasoned and spit roasted until crisp n’rock-hard. Hoops of noisette of potato, blended and salt seasoned. ‘Maxi’ slices of best King Edwards, fat fried and seasoned to taste in a variety of flavours (please allow chef/barman 5 minutes to serve) Main Course: The Oceans Bounty. The Shellfish man will be coming round any time between 7.00pm and 11.00pm. Fresh from the back of his van, whelks, cockles, winkles, roll-mops, all deliciously soaked in vinegar and served on a polystyrene platter. (Sidenetting Global Corporate Entertainments Inc takes no responsibility for any after effects should you decide to eat any of the mouth watering crustaceans n’ vinegar on offer.) Pudding: From the cheese plate - quavers or cheddars.
Vin Rouge Vin Blanc Beer Rum n’Pep Alchopops The atmosphere at this World Cup event promises to be magnificent making it the perfect environment for entertaining clients, employees, friends and family or fellow England supporters. We hope to see you there and share in a very special England Experience. But book early, as places are limited. Send cash only to: Dave, Sidenetting Global Corporate Entertainments Inc, Flat 313b Hackney Towers, 17th Floor, London SE19 5LF |
