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ISSUE 1

Ian Wright is dreadful. He mumbles he hectors, he is witless, charmless, and because he cant talk proper like, who is to know if he has a clue what’s going on! He certainly comes across as an idiot. But what annoys us most is that Wrighty assumes HE alone is the standard bearer of English support. And it goes that because nobody loves England more than Wrighty we are supposed to excuse the rubbish he torks, or refuses to tork as was the case after England lost to Northern Ireland.

Well passion comes in many forms Wrighty and we recommend you spend some time listening to Geoff Boycott to see how it can be articulated, without understatement but with style and grace, but never the less passionate for it.

What we don’t understand, we cant understand is that whilst Wrighty is infuriating to most, if you read the forums, some people actually like him! Maybe that says more about us as a nation, than Wrighty as a ‘pundit’.



Wrighty being thick.

Holland vs Serbia & Montenegro 11/06/06

Wright: In that situation Aajen Robben is not passing to noone.

Wright: I’m going strong on Van Persie cos I just love Van Basten and I like saying the “van” part.


Argentina Vs S & M 16/06/06

Wright: But what I’m saying is is that the the defender can play that ball what the midfielder’s are coming to play that ball.


Wrighty having the piss taken out of him

Argentina vs Serbia & Montenegro 16/06/06

Lineker: You tipped Serbia and Montenegro to go a long way, didn’t you Ian

Wright: Nah I didn’t…..

Links: You didn’t get the ‘S and M’ reference though, did you Ian.

Wright: (miffed) I did get it!

Links: Just a bit slow.

Hansen: You think he’s (Maradona) better than Pele?

Wright: Nah, I’m just saying that art of the two I’d ‘ave t’ go for Maradona – sorry about dat Leon (Leonardo).

Portugal vs Iran 16/06/06

Links: Fantastic goal and err that goal came  at just a couple of minutes after you were saying how overated Deco is here, in this studio, I recall!

Wrighty: Yeah, um, but the thing is, people know I didn’t say that. I was saying when the people for everybodys watchin’ is Deco’s overated but like the fact of the matter is ‘e ‘e just seems to just not quite to do enough sometimes when you’re watchin’ you just feel there’s a little bit more in ‘im but there y’have it – quality e’s got.


On the contrast between England and Argentina 16/06/06

Links: So what should they (England) be doing?

Hanson: We’re gonna show in a minute. Ian Wright’s gonna show you in a minute what we should be doing and he’s going to do it very well…(Hansen goes on to criticise England’s formation against T & T in his exemplary way).

Links: By contrast the Argentinians -  totally different.

Wrighty: Well, thas right cos when you look at it and you see the Argentinians pick up the ball their main man is is the the fella Mascorano – ‘e don’t come towards the ball at all. ‘E stays on the in on the on the line waving for them let them to, now  ‘e’s in the space where he could turn and put it forward to somebody n’ they’re movin, y’see, they’re movin. They’re into they’re into, into the space…….

Ed: “waving?” And so on. Taking the piss out of Wrighty is a bit like shooting ducks in a barrel but that was a bit cruel by Hansen.

Links: Who’s gonna win the tournament now then Ian?

Wrighty: If you lot look, look back at the first shot I did mention Argentina.

Links: You mentioned everybody!

But Passion is wot Wrighty’s abart

On Scolari 16/06/06

Wrighty: Assgrayerrseeerr manager you err ‘e’s, ‘e’s, ‘e’s, ‘e’s ‘e’s, ‘e’s kickin’ every ball, ‘e’s feelin’ ‘e’s feelin everyfing. Is nice t’see a manager wi’ that much passion, what (laughs).
(interupts Lee Dixon) See look and look thas what ‘e, errr ‘e – see that!

Links: There’s a slight contrast with Sven.

Wrighty: Thas right y’know what I mean, it looks like he shows it. He wears it on his sleeve, y’know what I mean errr what what it means to him (mumble’s something).

Ed: Thank you Ian for articulating the passion you perceive to be missing from Sven.


ANALYSIS

Finally, if you’re looking for analysis, which surely we humble fans need in spades, this is typical.

Portugal vs Iran 16/06/06

Wrighty: I jus’ fink that Iran didn’t have anything that could trouble Portugal and wiv Portugal in that kind of mood against a decent team they might have had some trouble but Iran just didn’t have enough quality you up front and ‘e errr it’s it’s fortunate for Portugal, really, huh.

Ed: And……