Sidenetting

PAUL MERSON

The Beeb loves football tearaways. Paul McGrath, Tony Adams, Lee Sharpe etc. – presumably they think it gives them a bit of street cred. We don’t want to lump Mers in with that bunch, he shoots from the hip (flask – snigger-ed), which is to be applauded but, how do we say this without sounding like the snobs we are? He has trouble wiv ‘is wurds’. Is that such a crime? Well, no, but if you’re a broadcaster….Look, you be the judge – here’s some snippets.

FOOTBALL FOCUS – 22/04/06

ON LEAVING HENRY OUT OF THE ARSE SIDE

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe ‘e ‘e it’s as big a London derby as I’ve seen for years and years and errr it’s a massive game and it errr you’re playin’ with fire really to put ya they’ve got two their season could end up in a matter of two games the worst season they’ve had in a long long time or the best but y’know you cant afford to to draw this game or lose it and then you have to beat Villareyah and then probably have go on and beat Barcelona who at the moment are probably the best club side in the world.

ON SPURS CHANCES

I I think Tottenham will have to score a goal. I just can’t see for ninety minutes Arsenal not opening Tottenham up and scoring. I think Ledley King is a massive miss for them, a massive miss. Gardner comes in and Arsenal’s errr I cant see Arsenal not scoring so I think it’s important that that Tottenham do score a goal if they wanna come away with anything today.

ON SHEARER BEING MANAGEMENT POTENTIAL

Yeah, very much so. Very much so errr you need players top top players to come in n’ n’ stay in the game and be managers. There’s not too many coming through at the moment ‘n you know he’d be a great candidate n’ y’know hopefully he can get a good club cos y’know obviously he’s a top player.

Ed: Perhaps they’re not coming through because they’ve jumped on the pundit gravy train? Fortunately, Merso’s argument is rubbish. Contrast him at Walsall with those somewhat less than top players Mourinho, Wenger and Fergy.

Back to the point and it’s the same old story. Mers is an ex-pro, out of his depth in a medium for which we’d’ve thought a basic grasp of the lingo is a prerequisite. But rather than get out on the stump, find articulate and knowledgeable journos, fans, professional gamblers (who live and die by their opinions) someone from the lower leagues even, how much easier is it just call on one of the old prem boys to fill the space? We don’t know if the producers at the Beeb are stupid or just lazy. Maybes both.